As the most important for Christians holiday nears (Easter), and Jewish brothers celebrate Passover holiday, I would like to reflect a little on evil, on suffering, and on forgiveness.
Today is the forth Easter holiday that I couldnt spend with my own children because of evil. Because of evil, today, two years have pasted, when I saw my Amelia and Daniel for the last time. And finally, because of evil, last four and a half years, became a very difficult and trying time for my close ones and me. But, it also has been a very educational and character-building experience. I have learned, that evil DOES exist indeed. I have discovered the meaning of true friendship. Finally, I have also learned that one day I will have to forgive.
So many people (even those labeling themselves as spiritual) discard an idea of evil, or God for that matter, describing it as a concept for uneducated or intellectually challenged individuals. However, most of the same folks, will always insist on the fact that good is everywhere, and in every person. Sometimes, they will dismiss it as an abstract, or an idea.
I can only say to them you are wrong. Look around you. Evil has had so many faces Stalin, Hitler, communism, Arafat, etc. Jesus Christ did not die because of some mysterious force, nor did millions of Jews and Christians in German concentration camps, nor many innocent people in New York, Israel, Somalia, Malaysia, former USSR, China, etc. All of these innocent people died and suffered from the evil with a face and a name. I am not even going to mention of so many bystanders, who just dont care or are afraid to help. They ARE indeed the worst kind of evil.
As I wait for the day when I can hug my children again, I pray that my wife, her mother, her sister, and all the other people who surround her realize this simple truth: it is NOT some force without a face that abuse my abducted Amelia and Daniel. It is THEM!
Suffering makes us stronger and humble, we are told to believe. I know it made me. I also accept, that God sees the truth but waits. But, for how long God? . Enough is enough!
Also, during this difficult time I was able discover that there is indeed a great number of good people, true friends. Sometimes, individuals that know you only as an email alias, but you know that they care, and there are others that have been for you every time you needed them. The wisdom – true friend in need, a friend indeed today has a new, but real, meaning for me.
As a Christian, and a Catholic, who is waiting for the Resurrection of his God, I am asked to forgive those who ill-treated me in last four years. I am asked to show compassion. Today, I do not know if I can, or ever will, but I will certainly try. Maybe, not for my children, nor my sister and my mother, or even my God. I will try to forgive them for myself.
Last week I had a chance to hear a Prayer for Forgiveness by Jesuit, father Robert DeGrandisa. As I wanted to dismiss it at first (This thing is two pages long!), the more I listen to its words read by a priest, the more they made me think. Tonight, I will have to read it again, myself. Maybe, I will come up with my own version of Prayer for Forgiveness. Maybe.
Happy Easter everybody!
Bogdan
P.S. As people of Jerusalem were celebrating today a holly Passover holiday, an evil man walked in and murdered them by an act of a cowardly homocide. No evil you say? I say -think again.